[cuyahoga] Chapter Two

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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Thu May 18, 2017 9:20 am

I was right. She was fired up last night. It was awesome.

We watched a little television together, and then when it was time for me to go to bed (she was staying up a little longer), she came into the bedroom to "tuck me in."

But first, she broke out the flogger, and went to town on my butt and balls. Exquisite torture. She ran her fingers along the cage and my balls just a little here and there, but mostly she just hit me, and hit me hard. That's not something that I'm used to. She's just starting to come into her own on that. Ball pain used to be a hard limit for me, but recently I've found that it's awesome. I never would've described myself as a "pain slut", and I still don't think that I am, but in the context of her dishing it out ... I have no idea why, but it totally works for me.

After, I begged her to cuddle with me for a couple of minutes. She doesn't understand submissive head space yet, so I need to talk to her about that in the future. She doesn't understand how important it is for me to have a couple of minutes to just hold her and "come down" after a treatment like that. She thinks she can just say goodnight and walk away, but I really need just a couple of minutes to let my mind come back to reality gently. Not completely certain how to broach that subject with her, because she really hates analyzing the sexual experiences that we are having right now. But she did give me some time last night, so maybe just pushing for that will help her come to realize that I need those few moments after the intense experiences.

This cage (I need to find a new avatar), a little more than twelve hours later, is amazing. I never realized what a difference custom makes. At this point, I feel like I will never go back. That could change in a couple of days if any problems develop, but I just don't foresee what that problem or problems could be. This cage is perfect for my anatomy at this point. All the good pain, with none of the bad pain. So far.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Fri May 19, 2017 9:27 am

Had to change my avatar, as that old one is no longer the cage I will be wearing. Therefore, all previous references in this journal to "see avatar" are no longer valid. I might get around to editing those to reflect that. I might not.

This new cage, the MMJB, is absolutely fantastic. I don't know if I was just unlucky with the cheap amazon cages, or if I learned a bunch from them and got my order right, but there is no comparison. The MMJB is by far the most comfortable cage I've ever worn. All the "sharp" pains are relegated to the past, and now, only the delicious throbbing ache that comes with arousal comes through. I don't need to constantly adjust it within my pants, and I don't need to think about how I sit down, or where it's aligned, or anything. I can actually forget that it's even there for a while, until a naughty thought crosses through the brain wiring, and suddenly, I'm firmly reminded that it's there.

I'm going to talk to my wife tonight, and tell her that last summer I asked for "more and meaner", and she's definitely lived up to that. Now I'd like to see if she can do "even more and even meaner". Unrelenting and cruel, even. I don't know how she'll react to that. It's very hard to define a time frame, when ultimately, I don't want to know what the time frame will be, and I want it to be her decision. I know that when it first goes on me, it's an erotic reminder of my condition that I love. Eventually, with the old cage, I did hit a point where I finally wanted it off, and wearing it after that actually got more erotic, as it felt so submissive from that point on. I don't know, with the comfort of this device, if I'll get to that point as easily, but I really want to get back there, and stay there for a while. When I reached that point with the old device, I hadn't mentioned it to my wife, but just by coincidence, she took it off me just a day or two later. So I really didn't get to immerse myself in that new feeling.

I wish I had an answer to this. Some kind of time frame that I could give her. The only thing I can think of is to ask her to wait until I'm pleading to be let out, and then tell me 'no' and wait longer. I don't know if she's interested in the kind of time that may take, and I'm hesitant to offer that as a solution. I also don't think she really keeps track of when I go in, and when I come out, and what kind of breaks she gives me. That means that asking for "even more and even meaner" probably won't be instructive enough, because I don't think she knows how much more or how much meaner she's being.

I'm torn between the concept of leaving well enough alone and enjoying what I get, and the idea that I could be missing out on a more fulfilling experience because I'm afraid to express what I'm feeling. Wait ... that sounds familiar. Am I falling into the "friend zone" of chastity by not taking the risk?
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby NoloMeTangere » Fri May 19, 2017 10:58 am

I hope you don't mind my commenting on your posts, but I'm pretty Dom in my relationship, although that is changing as my wife feels "free-er" as a result of my chastity. My perspective as a Dom is to ask what your wife is getting out of your submission? I'm sorry if I'm coming across as judgemental, but it seems as though you are topping from the bottom.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Fri May 19, 2017 3:34 pm

NoloMeTangere wrote:My perspective as a Dom is to ask what your wife is getting out of your submission? I'm sorry if I'm coming across as judgemental, but it seems as though you are topping from the bottom.


I'm really struggling with how to answer this. First, it doesn't come across to me as judgmental, mostly because you can't possibly judge the situation with the information that you have. I completely understand that you are both curious and also trying to help me ...

My problem is how to explain ...

Sexually, my wife and I probably aren't truly compatible. She has told me that if I weren't around, she'd probably only need to play with her clit for a couple of minutes every couple of weeks to satisfy the urges that she has. She has no fantasies. She doesn't ever see something or think up something that she'd like to try. I, on the other hand, think of sex like a hobby. I want to know everything about it, even the things I'm not actually into, and I want to try everything that even slightly seems to generate an inkling of arousal.

But that's not even the whole story. My wife is fun in bed; really fun and really sexy. She does some amazing things, but only things that I've introduced to our life and she's run with.

Her first reaction to my wanting to lick her butt was that it sounded awful and dirty. Now she regularly flips over and lets me lick her there, and even tells me to keep licking it while I make her orgasm with my fingers. That happened, because some years ago on my birthday, she got drunk enough to give me treat and let me lick her butthole. The next thing I knew, over the next couple of years, it started happening more and more often (and realize this was without me even presuming to ask), and with her less and less drunk. And she's started experimenting with letting me put little butt plugs in her. She found the pleasures of the butt, only because I brought them up. I didn't push it, and for years thought I'd never get to play back there, but eventually, she came around.

I used to have to ask her to use the flogger on me. I always thought it was an imposition, and I would feel a little guilty. Then, after a couple of times, she started letting me go down on her after, and I would always find her already very excited. Now, she's started actively deciding to use the flogger on me without my asking, and it's still exciting her to do so.

There are numerous examples of activities that are now fairly routine in our sex life, that she thoroughly enjoys, that simply wouldn't be there if it weren't for me introducing them to her.

Earlier this year, she had a couple of good experiences being tied up by me, and after one of them, I mentioned that I like to be tied up to. She responded by saying that she knows I do, she just doesn't think of it, and I think that's the best way to describe her approach to sex. She just doesn't think of it.

I can't find the right metaphor. A blank canvas? An empty glass? These just don't work. She has, and this'll sound harsh, but it's true, never brought anything to our collective table. Everything that we do has come from me. She has run with most of these things over the years, though, and I've been kept fairly happy. But if there's something that runs a gamut from 1 to 10, and I only show her 1 through 3, she will never find the other seven pieces on her own.

So how do I get the things that I want from that situation, without topping from the bottom? Do I simply act like I don't have any of these desires? I know that she's perfectly willing to play the role I'm asking for, and honestly, she has fun with it and I know that. Why that fun she has doesn't translate into a desire to learn more about it on her own or pursue her own knowledge of it, I can't tell you. I wish I knew.

I do know what she's getting out of it, though. She's enjoying the cuddles, as I'm not this cuddly normally. She's enjoying the extra work that I'm doing around the house and the unfair division of labor that exists at this point in time. She's enjoying that I'm more interested in spending more time with her, and not rushing off to do this or that every other night instead. She's expressed a couple of times that she's enjoying watching me struggle to "fuck" her, when she urges me to give it to her good, and the pained expression on my face as I try, and cannot. She enjoys grabbing the caged cock and tormenting it. It puts a smile on her face, and after almost fifteen years, I can easily tell her forced smiles from her elicited smiles.

And she's enjoying the sex more, as well, though she probably wouldn't easily admit it. She's instigating more lately, and she's participating more lately as well. When we used to do this in the past, she would appease me when I asked for something like a teasing hand job, and then leave the room. Now, far more often than not, she's bringing it up, and then wanting something in return when it's done. She's getting excited about doing some of this stuff I used to have to ask for. So I'd say she's getting some sexual fulfillment out of this as well.

You're right. If my wife were dominant, I'd say that I'm trying to top from the bottom. What I believe I'm actually trying to do is introduce my wife to the general idea of being a dominant, and see if she likes it. Show her that these are some of things that dominant women do to their husbands. Give her the ideas she isn't going to have on her own and see if she wants to run with them.

And fortunately for me ... she seems to be starting to take the reins more and more each day. I think I can see little glimmers of a dominant woman either being born, or finding herself. The other night, she flogged me hard, and really got into working on my balls with it, and she was smiling and engaged. Giggling as she asked me questions, and then swung the flogger just as I would start to answer, taking away the breath that I was going to answer with. She wasn't distant and distracted the way she would've been if she was only there for me. Trust me, I know that expression.

This answer ended up being far longer than I anticipated, but that's a hard question, and an issue that I struggle with internally. I don't want to be the source of all of this, but if I don't show her these things, tell her about these things, put these ideas into her head .. not only am I missing out on this enjoyment and pleasure, it would seem she would also be missing out on it.

I don't know. What would you do? What should I do?
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Sat May 20, 2017 8:17 am

So I heeded the sort-of warning, and I did not broach any subjects with my wife last night. I didn't bring up the cage, or my denial. I didn't even bring up that my test run with the new cage was successful. NoloMeTangere had really struck me with his observation.

After the kids went to bed, we watched a movie. After the movie, we were milling about the house, when we ended up together in the kitchen and embraced. "Wanna go fool around?" she asked.

I'll give you three guesses what my answer was, and the first two don't count.

Now, bear in mind, the context of my dwelling on the idea that I might be topping from the bottom. The encounter was very ... organic. It started with holding and kissing, and slowly progressed, with no direction from either of us. It was one of those encounters that just kind of develops into what it'll be. When her hand finally came to touch the cage, she teased my quite a bit by only touching the outside of the bars of it, asking me if I could feel this or that. I could only feel the barest hints of her fingers as they made extremely slight contact with just the barest pieces accidentally. Then she asked me if I wanted her to take it off, and I responded in the affirmative.

There was no further mention of it, and she never went for the key. It progressed, her on her back and me using my hands and tongue and one beautiful glass dildo. Then she rolled over. At first she specifically said that she didn't want to play with her butt. So I played with her from behind for a couple of minutes, and then she said, "Okay, so maybe you could lick my butt a little..."

That is an act of submission in my head, along with knowing that she gets a lot of pleasure from it. So I'm always more than willing.

And then the part that thoroughly confuses the topping from the bottom question....
She put her hands behind her back as I was playing with her, and when I saw that, I had the notion to quickly grab a short piece of silk rope to tie them. Once she was restrained as such, I could tell as I resumed playing with her that it had a very positive effect on her arousal. Then, with her on her front, hands tied, and sticking her butt up in the air, I was playfully but firmly spanking her a few times between teasing her and slowly bringing her to a very good orgasm. All while still locked in the cage.

Would that be an example of literally topping from the bottom?
This morning, she brought up the cage, and my test run, asking if it was successful. I said that this cage was far superior in every aspect, and much better for long term, any condition, any time wear. My previous cages had torn me up in ways that would require periodic breaks to let little "love bites" heal. This cage is pretty clearly not going to have those issues. In my previous cages, things like what clothing I needed to wear had to be considered, and therefore, for certain things that were going on, I would have to take the cages off. This cage was not going to have that issue. It was completely stealthy, even under my pajama bottoms with no underwear.

She absorbed the full report on the cage. Then I broke my resolve, and added, "So last year I asked for more and meaner in your application of the cage ... and I've already indicated that I'm grateful for you really stepping up on that and I've been enjoying the extra torment. How would you feel if I now said 'even more and even meaner'?"

She replied, "I'll take it into consideration."

There was absolutely no indication of what she was feeling on the subject. I told her that was the perfect answer, and I will not bring it up again.

NoloMeTangere wrote:I hope you don't mind my commenting on your posts,


I don't mind anyone commenting on my journey. I have come here for the benefits that a community has to offer. Thank you, Nolo, for making me re-think my intentions, even if I didn't stick with it.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby TwistedMister » Sun May 21, 2017 11:27 am

Mrs. Twisted seems to be very much similar to what you have written about your wife. She apparently cannot/will not take the initiative to explore on her own for new ideas on the 'net and rarely comes up with new ideas on her own. She needs input from an outside source. This, of course, presents some issues and a conflict of interest for those of us who want to avoid 'topping from the bottom'.

In my case, although I would like to have certain experiences, I don't want to tell her what to do or how to do it, I want her to do things because *she* wants to do them (without giving me any choice in the matter) not do them because she thinks it is what I want her to do. She is a 'pleaser' and wants to do what she thinks other people want her to do, and she very often will put other peoples' interests ahead of her own in the attempt to make them happy. This presents a basic conflict in the scenario because I *want* her to be 'selfish' and put her own sexual interests *first*- keeping me horny and using that to increase her own pleasure while denying mine. It is a peculiar concept for her to try to get her head wrapped around. She wants to give me pleasure and make me 'happy', but has a hard time with the idea that denying me pleasure and *not* making me 'happy' would make me happier.

Ironically, she tends to be 'bull-headed', 'stubborn', 'pushy' and domineering when she wants to get her own way...everywhere but the bedroom. She too has 'enjoyed' (been turned-on by) being bound and 'forced' sexually...though she has become more and more aware (over the last 15years or so) that she *likes* the shoe being on the other foot as well. She has discovered that she *likes* 'being naughty', being a 'prick-tease', and forcing me to do 'naughty' things. This produces an internal conflict. Because she sometimes talks in her sleep while she is dreaming, I know for a fact that when her conscious inhibitions/repressions are 'off' she wants to go a whole lot further and get a whole lot 'naughtier' than she will admit to when she is fully awake. I have also observed that she gets extremely 'turned on' (wet) when some of these 'naughtier' concepts come up during verbal 'teasing' while engaged in sexual activity, and when she has actually managed to overcome her inhibitions and go further than usual.

And then the part that thoroughly confuses the topping from the bottom question....
She put her hands behind her back as I was playing with her, and when I saw that, I had the notion to quickly grab a short piece of silk rope to tie them. Once she was restrained as such, I could tell as I resumed playing with her that it had a very positive effect on her arousal. Then, with her on her front, hands tied, and sticking her butt up in the air, I was playfully but firmly spanking her a few times between teasing her and slowly bringing her to a very good orgasm. All while still locked in the cage.

Would that be an example of literally topping from the bottom?


Well, that is a little different. Ultimately, your sexual pleasure (orgasm) is still under her control and you are still providing her with the experience that she wants. We have had the same scenario occur here. She still gets to be 'forced' and feel dominated, but at the same time I'm still in the cage and don't get to fuck, or get a blow-job. She says she hates to give blow-jobs, but being 'forced' to give one turns her on. I can [completely] relate to that now, as when (the first time she initiated something new and kinky on her own) I hated 'eating her out' *after* she made me cum inside her, but being (literally) *forced* to do it turns out to be a major 'turn on'...well, before and after, if not during. (The idea is completely disgusting/humiliating immediately after orgasm when I'm not horny anymore, but immediately before, and when I get horny again later, I get hard as hell knowing that she has forced me to do it, and will force me to do it again because she *likes* it, even if I don't 'like' it while I'm doing it.)

You may be able to enhance her pleasure during incidents like this, by using a strap-on with her- she gets what she wants and you still get what you want by not getting what you want. LOL, kind of 'fucked up', but it *is* fun. Mrs. Twisted much prefers the 'real thing' to dildos, however, and I think that (based on what I know of her unrepressed desires) the ideal scenario for her would involve one or more other people, where she gets to experience some domination while still retaining complete control of me (and getting even 'naughtier')...and,I have to admit, that idea gets a rise out of me, too. (You may not want to go quite that far.)
07/01/17 "I *really enjoy* teasing you, getting you all worked up and then leaving you hanging." --Mrs. Twisted
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Tue May 23, 2017 5:40 pm

Twisted - I want to discuss this further, but I think maybe we should start a thread in one of the forums so everyone can feel like they can participate. Just an idea. I bet there's a lot of us out here with a similar problem.

We don't want to "top from the bottom," but we also have these ideas that we know our significant other won't think up on their own. And in my case, I can't tell you how many of my ideas have been happily absorbed by my wife, and are now sources of pleasure and entertainment for her. Why should I deny her those pleasures? In asking her to do these things, she's getting an opportunity to explore that she might not otherwise have had.

And on that note, the rest of this week has seen a couple of experiences that were pretty incredible for me. I don't have time to write right now, but there's a big post coming soon about two evenings that were unbelievable ... in my experience.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Wed May 24, 2017 10:26 am

Saturday night saw the two of us dropping the kids off at Grandma's, and heading to a work related social event. I thought it was going to be one of those evenings where we're standing around talking to a bunch of people I barely know, but it wasn't that kind of event. Most of the evening was spent with just the two of us as there was plenty of entertainment for the group, and it was a great night. We got a ton of time to just connect and have fun together.

I thought she was getting a little too intoxicated as the evening wore on for anything to happen when we got home, but after we sat for a little while on the back porch, I made my proposition. I wanted to lick her until she got excited, and then use a vibrator to get her off. She's not the kind of girl that usually goes for another orgasm within a day of having one, but she was feeling frisky and decided to let me try.

I got to work with my tongue, and after a few minutes, she asked for the vibrator. I knew she'd need it, having had a pretty good orgasm the day before. I got the wand type vibe that we have, and laid beside her, and started using it on her. She was slowly progressing, and I was so into it, feeling something that I've seen described here, but never actually felt ... the empathetic arousal. As I used the vibe, her hands weren't on me at all. She wasn't touching the cage. After quite a few minutes of this, she took the vibe out of my hands, and started working it herself. I moved my hands to rubbing and squeezing her breasts, and that's when it really hit me.

I wasn't trying to get her off anymore, so I was more able to focus on where she was, and the reactions she was having, and I was intensely connected to her in that moment. It was soul shaking for me. I've never experienced that. Unfortunately, she couldn't quite make it work. Our wand isn't one of those super powerful ones. So she asked for "the little bullet", as it's the most powerful one we have.

In getting up to get it from the drawer, I lost that connection I'd had. When I laid back down, she took the vibe in one hand, and my cage in the other. She held my cage and balls tight as she worked the little bullet, and pretty quickly had a good orgasm. That's always intense for me, with her hand just holding the cage as she orgasms. Being caged the entire time, and just being there with her was a great experience, but I was kind of sad to have lost that moment of connection that could've culminated into something spectacular. I'm definitely going to try to get there again.

I knew that two orgasms in two days meant Sunday would be a nothing evening, and I was right, but content. It'd been a great weekend. But Monday night, she was all smiles and flirtations again, and I thought just maybe I had a chance. So after spending a little time on the couch in front of the television, between shows as we were milling around the kitchen, I took her in my arms, kissed her a little, and then told her that I'd like to go in the bedroom and do dirty things to her body.

"Oh, no," she replied, "I had two great orgasms over the weekend. I'm not ready. But you get in there and get naked, because I'm going to play with you."

I thought maybe the cage would come off finally, but instead, she immediately had the flogger in hand. Only recently has she started making contact with my balls when she flogs me. She used to always focus on my ass, and the few times she connected with the balls were on accident. That is, until a couple of weeks ago, when she started intentionally connecting with them.

On Monday night, it was almost all about the balls. She worked them over, first with me on my knees, and then she had me lay on my back, and kept picking up the constrained and throbbing package to hold it this way and that, getting better shots at its contents. If you'll remember, I asked for "more and meaner", and apparently this is how she took it, as she kept it up far longer than she ever has.

This is something that is totally new to me. I've never been one to enjoy ball pain, but the flogging was actually making me drip, and she definitely noticed that, and took it as a reason to keep going. One of the most intense experiences of my life.

Now that leaves me somewhere I've never been before. I'm sitting on twelve days in the cage with no out time, and the last few play times between us have seen no pleasure for my cock. Only either caged throbbing frustration as she gets off, or the attention of a flogger that she's getting more and more confident and mean with. She used to take the cage off for play times, and then have me put it back on. She used to wonder what to do with me when I was caged, because she was all about giving me pleasure during those times.

Finally, she's just taking what she wants and not worrying about me. It's awesome, and been a very long time coming. I have actually gotten her to a point where I'm wondering if I've asked for more than I can handle, but she's confidently and happily going along with what I asked for.

Except for the ball stuff. I didn't ask for that. She just sort of found it on her own, on accident, and realized it was working, for both of us. That's a little scary for me. I'm not sure how much of that I can actually take, and I'm not sure how far she'll actually go with that. She went for a lot longer on Monday night than I ever would've thought, and it was because she was having fun. Scary.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Sun Jun 04, 2017 8:12 am

The cage came off last week, and she surprised me by permitting me to orgasm.

I wasn't disappointed for not making it to six months as we had discussed. I'm pretty sure she'll go back to denial pretty soon. She's been making jokes about "remember when you loved me?" And they're just jokes.

We'll see. I think she's pretty on board with the new program.

I'll keep you posted.
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Re: [cuyahoga] Chapter Two

Postby cuyahoga » Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:36 am

Three weeks of freedom to orgasm. My wife and I had quite a few (maybe six to eight) fairly vanilla encounters during that time, and I masturbated ... a lot.

During those three weeks, mostly when we weren't having sex, my wife started with comments like, "Remember when you loved me?" These were in response to benign resistances on my part. Completely benign, for example, maybe she said she wanted Chinese, and I would resist that, and suggest something else. During the denial period, I would enthusiastically go for the Chinese.

As my freedom period stretched out, though, she started to get more and more irritated by the difference. Last night was a final straw, I think. We got a baby sitter so my wife could take me out to dinner for Father's Day. As we finished getting ready, I said something about her looking "cute." Apparently, on the date nights during my denial period, I made her feel "sexy" not "cute." She pointed out the difference before we even left for dinner.

Over the three week period, there were more and more comments about her needing to "get back her control" and needing "to cut me off." They became more and more serious as the weeks wore on, and last night, she did it.

It's amazing to me how used to orgasms I got. Last night was a surprisingly intense denial. In the past, after waiting nine to even eighteen months for her to cut me off again, by the time it happened, I wanted to be denied. Last night was totally different. I begged and begged for just one more, and it was sincere. I didn't want to be cut off.

Perfectly awesome. Exactly the feeling I was hoping for. Real struggle. Real frustration.

And in the "Hot Things Your Keyholder Has Said" category ... As I was inside her, struggling to hold back, and whimpering "please" quietly, "That feeling is frustration," she said. "It's only going to get more intense. Much more intense."
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